For me, I had a wonderful head-start into this holy month with my family where we made list of the things we overlooked in doing over the course of the year; Quran reciting, solah sunnah and of course, our own health. Despite the ill-fortunate of beginning to fast with a flu, I'm good. And as to answer my own question, I am more productive. Cause fasting means no escaping to food when my brain hit a dead-end with something. So, it's good and I love it.
To walk or to jump at something you're not familiar with has always been an issue for me. That is mainly caused by my slow move when it comes to starting something. I have to meticulously plan it, set the mood, rate the weight before I even start. And think endlessly as I do this. When I think, it's always a slow-cooking process. So, half of the time, I try jumping into doing things just to get it started. But this never really turned out well for me, although it never stopped me from doing it. I have this idea that when I jump into something and start doing it wherever I want to, it'll turn out OK. But really, it only makes me understand that, you can't do something you have no idea about and blindly pass up your work with discussions, interpretation and conclusions that you know, barely scratch the surface.
I have been hung up with my data analysis for the longest time. I've been going around asking people how to do it, even going as far as bugging my bestfriend in Japan to tell me what to do with a bunch of data I have. Eventhough I know what I want, I don't know how to get it. Statistical analysis isn't really a thing I understand or do on a daily basis. If you talk about music, now that's my language. But not statistics. For the longest time, I tried doing and failing and tried to do things according to my friend's instruction. I got the products of the analysis but I wasn't satisfied. Then, my colleagues started telling me that I'm being complicated. Was I? I didn't know and I still don't. Was my way of thinking too complicated and winded? I didn't think so. I thought it was only natural to ask what I want and to understand something so I am comfortable with discussing it.
After trying to find websites after websites and books after books to make me understand all those t-test, z-scores, simple linear regression, correlation coefficient, hypothesis testing and ANOVA, I realized that...it was close to futile. And I wanted to cry. But yesterday, I got fed up and went to YouTube looking for anybody that does what I did. I found one...although he is not a chemist. In fact, he is a Mathematics/Physics/Statistics former lecturer turned tutor; Prof. Serna. He was God-sent.
For every single thing that I haven't the faintest idea about, I got the free tutoring over the easy to understand step by step videos. And it didn't take long.
I am not here to promote any YouTubers or tutors and raise free ads at my corner here, but the point here is his teaching methods.
My impatience to learn something new has eaten me right from the beginning. The impatience to understand, the impatience in thinking and letting things sink it...it's deteriorating. The constant want to have things fast and right at the second you demand it is wrong and it is awfully shallow of me to demand such thing of my brain. I think this is was I read before in a book and I think it is called confidence bias. And it was born out of the sheer marketing of over-optimism by self-made public figures that said;
" If you want it...you can get it...If you demand it, you'll have it...Getting things done fast is how you move forward....bla bla bla,"
They didn't exactly say that but that is pretty much the idea.
Is that true?
Is there such thing as multi-tasking, really?
I mean, we've read books on why guys like bit*hes....and why man won't ask and woman can't read maps...but I think, being bossy to your own brain is quite pushing it.
I guess, what people forget is that, our brains work differently. Where most of these successful people got it right and with sheer confidence that their success came from their hard work, it is still a method personalized to their brain, body, spiritual, social and economical capacity.
Although I don't believe in always being suspicious and pessimistic about things, it is always wise for us to have constant reality checks before we jump into anything that seemed outrageous impossible but actually happened to someone. Like sheer genius in maths where he did calculus at the age of 3 or music prodigy practically cutting it with Rachmaninoff...they just have the fortune, capacity and time at it that most of us hasn't.
So start with the basics at your pace. Our brains work differently.
And I never said stop dreaming. You may reach the stars with your dreams. And it's not wrong to feel bad and defeated at times. There is no such thing as things being at the worst before it gets better. Constantly balance your optimism with reality-checks. It's not wrong to have certain doubts. It's not wrong to let an idea hang to dry and be probed all the time.
Now...let's fall in love with this beautiful piece composed by Chopin; Spring Waltz.