4.5.13

Where did you go, Heart?


2.5.13

Hell Yeah

Have I ever told you how much I hate you? Like a hundred times a day and 99%  of the time, you're not around. And at that 1%, I can't even say it out straight like I should. It's like peeking from behind the curtains with the hope that you would notice me, but not know I'm there at the same time. Does that make sense? I know it doesn't. But that's just how it feels like. Senseless and out of touch.

Have I ever told you that I despise how you ignore me? I wanted to be at the front seat with you, and not hide at the backseat while you say the sweetest things to your date. Sometimes, I just ask you random things you could be saying to that future dates you'll be going cause I want to hear what you would be saying to me if you wanted to make me happy. It hurts to know that, you said the nicer things to them and not me. It hurts to know that, you don't trust me enough to even 'pretend' to make me happy.

Have I ever told you how it irritates me when you asked me to give you a smile? After you push and pull me around as you please, just to ease that little guilt you feel when you know you've gone too far...you asked for a smile?

How can I not love you when you're the only one who had seen all of me; even when we're just strangers who are so far apart that without time, knowing you exist is the most impossible thing. How can I not cry when I love you so much that I am willing to pretend that I am happy if you're happy? How can I not get hurt when I know, as realistic as I am, I still want to believe that you are something just within reach. But you, you're are so convinced that I'm just an impossible moving picture you saw on the screen once in a while.  

And all you had to do was pretend...maybe a little. Tell me if you love me...

Just once, turn around and smirk like I know you will...and tell me whatever you want...cause if you ask me...I'd say

"Hell yeah, baby. I'm the only one for ya,"